Monday, May 18, 2009
So...we told the (big) kids this weekend that my husband and I are splitting up. I am completely mentally exhausted. We have a rental apartment that my husband will be moving to, but, of course, we had to give the tenants notice. So, he let them know last Monday that they needed to move out within 30 days. He didn't tell them why. The only people we had told of our impending divorce were my parents and the lawyer who handles our small business. But by Friday, news that we were splitting up was all over the flippin town, because the tenant "guessed" what was happening and proceeded to tell people. I can't even describe how angry I am with her. My brother and SIL heard this rumor before we had told them, and of course denied it. Sergeant's babysitter also heard it, as well as Smarty's best friend's sister. Our plan had been to wait until a week or so before their dad was going to move out and then break the news so they would have some time to process it before it actually happened. Now they have way too much time to process it, as he won't be able to move for another month. They need for it to happen so they can see that it's going to be okay. They don't need to spend the next month wondering and worrying. Sunny seems to be doing well. We talk about the logistics of it and what is going to happen, but she doesn't talk about her feelings. So that worries me. Smarty talks about her feelings constantly. She also is asking lots and lots of questions and processing like crazy. She's having some mild anxiety attacks, as well. After talking with her school counselor, we've decided to let her wallow for another day or so, but then she needs to continue with her normal routine and try to help herself feel better. We're going to make a menu of ideas for her to use when she's feeling sad, such as getting a hug, jumping on the trampoline, or taking a bike ride. The really freakin' ironic thing about the way this has gone down is that it's made the kids' dad and I even more committed to work together to make this as easy and possible for the kids, now and in the future. We're united in our pissedness (is that a word?) at the tenant! Sergeant doesn't know what's going on yet, although I'm sure she senses something is up. We can't talk to her until the move is imminent - a month in 3-year-old time is like a year in grownup time.